To my dear Dosiq,
I started a project with Kelsey, that she doesn't exactly know about, called Letters to Keru. It's my effort to write a letter every day or so, to let her know I thought about her during her four months away.
In my first letter, I detailed how I neglected to write her back properly when she wrote to me my freshman year.
I know I did the same to you, though it wasn't intentional in the least. These letters will vary in length, and may not be very long. Sometimes I'll mention something you said, or other times it will be my thoughts and feelings on things that I was afraid to share with you while we were talking.
I don't know if I'll ever actually send the link to you, or let you know this even exists. But somehow, I felt the need to do it. To make sure you know that you're loved, and that I don't overwhelm you with my 'feels'.
Months have passed, and I finally realized that I missed out on something wonderful. I treated you horribly, but that doesn't mean I have to treat myself horribly for how we ended. I made mistakes. You made mistakes. But on some level, I've been trying to shoulder all the blame. In reality, I was in a very dark place when we broke up. I was just a tad bit unhinged, and we didn't choose the greatest time to come out and admit our feelings to one another.
I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry that you are hurting right now from the ghosts of your past, and from the memories you are facing.
It will be through these 'letters' that I disassemble my thoughts and feelings and put them back together in a way that makes sense.
I love you, even though I'm not sure what that means right now. Just know that it's sincere.
-Dzio
